Winter Break just ended, and it was a so-so transition. Transitions in routine for any kid is hard. Transitions in routine for ASD people can take more time to manage. For example weekends, and Mondays is filled with me emotionally prepping my son for a week of school. It can be even more work if it was a 3 day weekend. You can imagine how returning back to school after a fairly long break can be. Overall, I would say it went fine for Baby Hulk.
Baby Hulk dealt with the first week back to go great. He had good days, and even his teacher told me he set good examples to the younger ASD children. Then the following week happened, and I actually had to take away IPad/TV for not so good behavior. I don’t like doing things like that, but I have to stay firm with the consequences. He has definitely improved and he still has his IPAD/TV. Now is he a well behaved child at all times? Of course not.
Why I Use Negative Reinforcement
You know the term “reinforcement” was first introduced to me last year by his kindergarten teacher. I didn’t quite understand it. I had to google it lol. To me it seemed like a very normal way to parent neurotypical children. I was parented that way. I learned my lesson real quick back then. In simplified situations if you behave negatively then you get disciplined in various ways. Today I do use negative reinforcement, but I do use it as a way to get my son to talk to me. I always validate his feelings, and I hope by doing that he feels he knows to confide to me.
The Process Of Trying To Get Him To Explain His Side Of The Story
Whenever a situation calls me more to do negative reinforcements It’s a long process of trying to explain consequence of his actions. Since he has a speech delay it can take a variety of ways for me to get him to explain.
“What happened?” “How were you feeling?” “Who was with you?” “Why did you do that?” are common questions I ask him when I find out he had a bad day. Sometimes he doesn’t answer immediately, and that’s fine. I then tell him there is no Ipad/TV the rest of the day. When he has calmed down or taken a break I ask those same questions again. I already know he’s overstimulated at school. I also know some of the ASD children are not treated the same due to their IEP/504. For him, to see his seat mate get away with these things it’s not fair.
For a day to be considered having a bad day he would have had a melt down that was the majority of the day. He has since improved. I always tell him I know school can be boring, and can be hard, but it’s not right to cry for long periods. I do point out it’s ok to cry, but it’s not ok to cry for long periods like he did. His teacher, and I communicate pretty good about his day.
Positive Reinforcement For Decent To Good Days
>>>Side Note: My son may be speech delayed, but he doesn’t use his IPAD as his main form of communicating.
I honestly don’t do too much positive reinforcements for decent to good days. His Ipad/TV is really explained to him that those things are a privilege. Do I think he understands what privilege means? Honestly, I think he understands to an extent. He doesn’t always have a melt down when I take his Ipad/TV away. He still has access to his toys, and that’s how he keeps himself entertained without screen time. To encourage him to have “good” days I talk to him about the benefits of managing his behavior.
I tell him when he’s not crying, or avoiding his school work it really makes him teachers day much easier to handle. I ask him if his friends cry too. They do, and I remind him if he’s not copying their behavior it would make his teachers day better. I also point out when he is behaving properly he gets access to the play/sensory bins. When he has access to them, that means him and his friends can play together. I’m trying to get him to understand the goal of good behavior comes with a positive reinforcement in school.
At the end of the week of a decent to good behavior I take him to starbucks and get him his favorite drink. I tell him mocha frappucinos are for good weeks. It’s something small he looks forward to at least. When a “bad” week happened I don’t make it a big deal. I tell him “I guess next week you can try better.”
*I just was to clarify when I post about ASD it’s a personal experience. Not all ASD children have a speech delay. When you hear it’s a spectrum, it truly is. I hope what I write will help you in learning more about ASD ,and how each individual has a different sensory profile.
